A Lifestyle of Commitment

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33)

Fifty-five years of marriage! Fifty-five years of commitment in the midst of some years that seemed easy and some that were very hard. Fifty-five years of “doing life together.” Fifty-five years of sharing together. Fifty-five years of experiencing the joy and the pain that inevitably comes from raising five children. Fifty-five years of personal sacrifice.

My parents recently celebrated their 55^th wedding anniversary today (8/27/2010). They began their journey in very humble surroundings. They were married in a small missionary Baptist Church not far from Hammond, IN. They had no money to speak off, just a love whose flame is still being fanned fifty-five years later.

I remember the house we lived in just off Highway 41 in Hammond that was filled with the seven of us and a cousin for a short period of time. The home seemed massive to a five-year-old. When I went back several years later to see the house after my uncle’s funeral service, I could not understand how my parents managed all eight of us in what was in reality less than 1000 square feet. I look back now and understand that when love is present – square footage is irrelevant!

We moved to Fordsville, KY to a rental house, and then to another until my parents purchased the small farm in 1968. While some changes have been made to the home over the last 40+ years, one thing has never changed – the sense of loving family I experience every time I journey back home for a few days.

It was there that my greatest childhood memories constantly come to life: discovering Jesus Christ, camping out with my friends, fishing all day, wrestling with my brothers (ok, fighting), watching my only sister be spoiled rotten, learning how to dance, playing in the snow, walking the train tracks to school, all those Thanksgiving meals and Christmas presents, and learning how to play basketball with a goal nailed to a tree in the back yard.

Like most families, not all memories in that farm house marked me in a positive way: the time my dad tried making money by raising a bunch of pigs, the day a dog bit me while out in the barn, the long night I spent in bed the first time I tried chewing tobacco (I think I was 8), and the summer day I stood by the door and watched as my mom was told that my brother had drowned. Those memories are still present – I have just decided to forget “what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead.”

Today my parents enjoy nine grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

All their family, with one exception (me), lives within an hour of their home.

Their health, while not anywhere close to what it once was, still allows them an occasional opportunity to travel south to Alabama to see their favorite offspring! In short, after fifty-five years, they are still much in love.

So, as I sit in my office offering praise to my Heavenly Father for two parents who loved me best by loving each other most, I am reminded of the agape love Paul instructed the Ephesian Christians to emulate. A wife who prays for her husband to be the spiritual leader God has commanded him to be, and a husband who loves his wife like Christ loved the church –unselfishly and sacrificially. I am extremely thankful today that, in spite of difficult days of pain my parents endured, they were steadfast in their love for one another. They modeled the meaning of marital commitment for me. I pray that Julie and I will do the same for our boys.

Mom and Dad - I am so proud of you. I am so thankful for you. I love you both. Happy Anniversary!

Derek